Most people long to be in relationship, but once settled together, it’s not always easy to be happy. It can feel like the very person who has the key to your heart also has the power to make you hurt like no other. Why is that?

Maybe you argue constantly – about cleaning, parenting, money, sex… about anything and everything. Or maybe there’s not much arguing but a lot of silence, a lot of retreating to different rooms or onto devices – loneliness and suppressed irritation interspersed with occasional blow-ups over minor things.

Finding your way back from either of these dynamics can feel impossible, when you’re trying to do it alone. When you take the risk of trying to sort things out, your partner always seems to takes it the wrong way, feels attacked, blows up or retreats further. You love them, but this hurts so much, and you don’t know how to make things better between the two of you. Could it be you're just not right for each other?

Unfortunately, many of us weren’t taught key skills for managing healthy relationships, and many couples who genuinely love each other end up stuck in patterns like this. Over time it can erode what could have been a really strong and supportive relationship.

The good news is, it’s not too late to learn the skills you need to be happy in relationship. In fact, a relationship in conflict can the perfect place to learn them – if you get the help you need to do that.  

I offer couples that help, in person, from beautiful consulting rooms just a few minutes from central Eumundi. The form of relationship counselling that I use is called Emotionally Focused Therapy. It is extensively researched, with a majority of couples showing outstanding outcomes that continue to improve after counselling has finished, rather than starting to diminish as soon as you finish counselling.

In counselling, we will track the pattern that currently traps you and your partner into responding in the predictable, painful ways that you do. As counselling progresses, you can expect to feel more emotionally safe within your relationship, and have more understanding of how things are for your partner. Over time, we move towards a place where your partner is a source of reassurance and comfort at difficult times, rather than a source of distress, and you are that for your partner as well.

Relationship counselling isn’t for everyone, but if you think it might be helpful for you, text or call me on 0421 901 833 to organise a chat about your situation.